| things which enclose me/ or which i cannot touch because they are too near |
[13 Jun 2005|04:22pm] |
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blaaaaaah |
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things dont seem to have any order or progression to them anymore
*I bring light to the financial district(where my new office is) in all their stuffy suits and etc. And even on Wall Street people yell out that i look like a "hott chelsea clinton"...very professional people.
*I saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which was plot-wise so-so but still really good cuz the actors and clothing and house and everything was just so gorgeous; reminded me of an Oceans 11 vibe. And i've been at Barnard too long cuz I thought Angelina looked better(almost).
*Larry set off all the alarms in an NYU dorm trying to sneak me in while SUnny and I pretended not to know him..very funny and typical larry moment. We were there in the first place cuz Larry forgot the address of the theater we were supposed to go to and missed the movie..also typical of him. Sunny slept over and it was crazy cuz i hadn't seen her since before high school ended(and we never talked).. and it made me SO SAD because she is going through the exact parts of a relationship i went through and it's killing her and i kind of think she LIKES it. And I've known her since we were nine so even though we've been distant this is like...tugging at me so hard.
I hate how things are such a give and take.. i guess i want to have my cake and eat it too(avoid comments about this Duo). I know it's stupid and dramatic, but i feel SO different, i feel like i even look different since summer started. I feel a lot more confident in myself, the way i look, i feel like it's so much easier for me to relate/talk to people lately...like i'm actually being active in my own skin for the first time. So that's good and crucial and stuff. But then i feel so fucking lonely and miserable...and i wonder why i couldnt have ever felt those good things before with dennis, why i couldn't be myself and his girlfriend at the same time. I know it must be at least half my fault and i'd give anything to understnad it and just be with him. I know i shouldnt think about it.. but i want to be with him and share everything with him so much, have him love who i am and be his and be happy. And if i could ever find someone to love me exactly how i am... well i'll still always regret that I couldnt make that happen with Dennis.. i feel like i failed, cuz HE'S the one i want to love me that way.
WHY do i have to be alone????? I am so awkward at this single thing, everyone i talk to thinks its hysterical but it's scary.
I just got back from work and i have to head back into the city in a lil bit to have an inevitable dinner that i am superSUPER dreading. hmm... okay.
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| Oh how time flies/with crystal-clear eyes |
[09 Jun 2005|04:43pm] |
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"cross-bone style", cat power |
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I'm totally losing track of my life in the last few days..
Yesterday I worked w/my dad and lounged around my room reading Anna Karenina(rich russian people have tragic torrid affairs..best thing ever), then I got a call from Frank to come hang out with him in the park where he's practicing some songs. He brought some books to keep me busy while i chilled there, but next thing i know we're writing lyrics together, or im transcribing his lyrics and adding(to a song sorta about me, awkwardly enough)...It felt so funny and from a different time, we looked like two weirdo hippies proll under the tree and i wasn't even wearing makeup(anyone that knows me knows this is *insane*). Suddenly its 7,8,9, 10 oclock and he's driving me over the Williamsburg bridge blasting Hip-Hop music with Indian singers in the background; taking the subway all the time i forgot how incredible the NY skyline can look, my city kicks sooo much ass.
We ate at Pommes Frites and he introduced me to the people in the Bowery Poetry Cafe(where they were watching a bootleg of Return of the Sith..?!) Then he dropped me off at Andrew's restaurant where the workers are nice and pour me too much wine after closing, and then a desperate search for milk-shakes ensued. And i just lost the entire day and night, but it was perfect. I decided it's bad to hang out with someone unemployed, they take over your life lol.
Today Im killing a lot of time before going to the city for dinner.. I've lost over 5lbs in the last two weeks, but to be honest for the first time since i was younger im not even THINKING about food. Not worrying at all. Not trying not to eat, but also not thinking about food.. my mind has just been everywhere else and i forget about necessary things like that. Things arn't perfect, i guess that's why im distracting myself. Today I started thiking about how i don't even have a # for Dennis in Taiwan.. and i couldnt stop crying over what a huge thing in my life is gone, completely gone. I hate feeling like that, i hate regret, i've ruined tons of my life with regret in the past, so im just keeping busy. If i don't look back i have a lot to look forward to.
And my life is going on..
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| What's with today, today? |
[01 Jun 2005|01:33am] |
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"Color and the Kids", Cat Power |
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It's been a loong time since i've updated..
*sigh*
So, i dunno, the technical stuff is that I kicked butt the past semester(woot straight A-s) and my job is BORING AS HELL. I have an interview on thursday for Banana Republic, everyone should cross their fingers so i'll bestow gifts on you with my amazing discounts. And if i don't get that job..well Duane Reade wont even call me back so im fucked lol. Even my dad hired someone else.. i'm obsolite.
I had a lovely lovely birthday, thanks to a lot a lot of people that sent me cards(that klimt one is perfect kate) or presents or phone calls or anything. Amanda's Bday card makes me look forward to the fall: "You're gunna be my roommate!!! We can do crazy stuff like eat Coco Puffs at 3AM and watch sex scenes from The Lover over and over!".. see all the "crazy" college stuff i do?
To tell the truth, i feel really detached from whoever i am or was or whatever right now. Dennis and I have been all sorts of good and bad and now he's leaving for Taiwan in a few days and now i guess we're over, actually over(god i can't even wrap that concept around my brain)..and i don't even know where i am. I know during the day im cool or maybe happy or a total zombie and at night i cry and cry and cry. But it has to be okay, eventually, right? I have so many perfect perfect friends that are making every effort to be anything i need, basically our goal the last few days has been to keep me as distracted and/or drunk as possible.
Things to avoid at all costs:
Music of any sort = crying lol
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind(must be insane for trying to watch this now)
Anything related to Pandas
Going to bed(being alone is never more obvious than at this time)
Trying to read in a park swamped with couples groping eachother
Umm..basically every fucking thing that relates to the last 2.5 years
blah so this is my first time alone since puberty... i feel so freaking awkward and naked lol. I can't imagine being with any other guy right now, don't want to... the thought is just wrong and exhausting and i guess i miss what(who) i'm used to. Sorry to be vague, but I had the weirdest day today that i've ever had maybe, so now I'm sitting and listening to this gorgeous CD loaned to me by also proll the weirdest person i've ever just met...and i absolutely swear that the total randomness and opportunities opened up today was a sign that i can make something of myself here somehow. I hope its a sign and not a false promise.
"He is someone I could learn from
Someone I could become
I could stay here
Become someone different
I could stay here
Become someone better"
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[09 May 2005|05:50pm] |
in 48hrs i will have finished 4 finals.... eep.
i had a nice nice nice weekend, ummm dennis i am stupid and lazy, maybe u could insert the Formal pic in a comment so people can see it? But yeah the formal at Cornell was really nice, being away from my obligations was perfect, so hopefully that's worth the life-crashing-around-me situation right now.
Final 1 in 1 hour!
i always get so so sad when im coming back from cornell, specially to a shitty last few days like this. and its dark on the bus cept the little crappy light so u feel like ur floating by urself and its boring and my butt falls asleep and its lonely and i worry about when/if i'll get to see him again and i could have spent it studying but i wrote a...something instead. been awhile since i've done anything;
this light is artificial
i fear i am forgotten
and your gaze again averted
as i am heading home
small cars pass by the bus window
i wish i could be part of them
the gears or brakes or closeness
always knowing what's beneath it
always having a direction
meanwhile i can't recognize your face
and this spotlight makes this seat
my world
in rows and rows of vacant eyes
still seeing those they've left behind
that sent them off, while they remain
can't shake the feel that i'm rejected
completeness i find hours away
foundation strains me at arms length
and forever I have been
the one that has to
feel this way
.........*implodes*
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[02 May 2005|05:14am] |
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I am delirious.
To(day)morrow is my last day of classes this year, craaaaaazy.
I am somewhere in the middle of a paper that is due in a few hours.
Writing papers on books i havn't read all of is always fun; it's pathetic that I can't write a decent 6page paper on Jane Austen when she freaking wrote Pride and Prejudice when she was my age.
This is the last pre-class shitty Sunday night for 4 months!!!!
There is some strange asian boy with spikey hair sleeping in my bed. I just got up from taking a power nap in his arms..that's something i don't get everyday. He stayed an extra night to 'support me' while i write my paper(a.k.a. watch The O.C. DVDs my friend has). He's snoring and drooling on my pillow, he is a huuuge dork, i love him a lot.
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[23 Apr 2005|08:31pm] |
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head over feet.. soooo old!!! |
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This week sucked HUGELY until just lately.
umm... i think im a little crazy. i think i was A LOT this week... and that's proll not the last of it so i'll just enjoy things right now. Happy Belated Birthday to my Duo, who is the only person that would be moved over a present of whipped Cream Cheese and a new copy of Paradise Lost.
I was tossing and turning all night long, having weird vague dreams about my boyfriend and asian sorority girls with names like "Britni" (?) and i woke up feeling miserable and like i couldn't trust things. I was pissed cuz someone kept calling me and i was trying to sleep through the nightmares... then i finally decided to listen to the message and it was from 1800 flowers! And sitting in the lobby waiting for me, like i've always been so jealous of other people for, was a big vase of pretty spring-ish flowers! And only someone that loves me would know to get me that and not roses. And only someone that loves me would fucking care to get me flowers at all when i was a huge baby the last week (thank you). So i am officially the stupidest girl ever and have the nicest boyfriend ever and will no longer listen to any voice inside my head.
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| i wear my boyfriend's cologne when i'm sad :( |
[17 Apr 2005|08:28pm] |
Not that relevant, but Ms. Apple is a smart smart girl:
"Dreams can be decieving
like faces are to hearts
they serve for sweet relieving
when fantasy and reality
lie too far apart"
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| But do you believe in something beautiful? Then get up and be it. |
[13 Apr 2005|08:11pm] |
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i feel so....
.........yeah.
i've been such a mix of things. The nicer weather = better feelings better atmosphere cuter clothing. Barnard Spirit Day = Ice Cream and free red bull.
I sit outside to study and there is sunshine and i get persuaded into buying earrings i don't need(okay.. i sought out the earrings).
So i have new earrings and sunshine to reflect off of them. this is about where the good ends.
I probably should have had this freak-out phase when i came to college, but it kind of delayed until the last 3 weeks of school. I'm realizing how long i've been away from my home and the people i always associated that with. I've had a million little memories lately about moments at Dennis' old house or sitting on the windowsill before class started and watching for his bus number to pull up. He doesn't live within a hundred miles of me anymore and the only bus i take is cross-town(which i will no longer do if they actually increased the fares). My dad just sold his apartment, my second home, and is talking about moving to Virginia... sorry to be spoiled but who will drive into the city to bring me oatmeal raisin cookies when i have a test? Me and Dennis are in different worlds, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLDS, and will be for some time. It honestly doesn't bother me, maybe cuz my life is pretty straightforward right now, as long as he cares any polarity would be fine with me. But with everything going on i know it bothers him, and that makes me..scared..shitless. And, not that i'm perfect right now, but i think it's a situation relatively out of my hands, i feel so uninvolved with my fate.
So ive been going to the barnard gym everyday for three/four weeks.. this is officially my only stress relief and the only thing i've actually been able to do lately(besides skip italian). I am getting soooo buff lol, last week i could open a jar of salsa by myself!!! But i come back so tired and braindead that i can't think or do any work and i just go to sleep by midnight. But i also can't worry when im that tired(except right now..hmm..), and it makes it more okay to be in my own skin... so who knows if this is good or not.
See? thinking sucks. im going to sleep. Someone please tell me the end of the year is making them this useless also?
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| No one gets me a love fern.. |
[03 Apr 2005|03:36pm] |
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dispatch- out loud |
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*jumps up and down*
Big academic/future life turnaround for me this past week!
after a lot of tentative thinking, it's become entirely obvious that I want to major in American History, not Art History. I love art history as a subject, i'm definitely predisposed to kicking ass in my art classes more than any other.. but the class choices here suck and the major is intense and i've realized i want to take about 20 history classes while only 1 art one appealed to me. I think art is a really good lens to look at history through. So yah i'll major minor respectively i guess(by the fall i'll officially have a minor in both anyway). Unless i figure out what the hell "American Studies" consists of (we need to talk Erica). No one cares but i'm VERY excited about my fall schedule:
Italian (evil ick ew)
Political Theory I (supposed to be the best teacher everrrr)
Selected Topics in American Women's History (seminar)
American Civilization to the Civil War
Europe: Postwar Art 1945-78
Bio Lab (this is a requirement, but i think i might be typically me and not take it cuz 6 classes is insane & over the credit limit and science sucks)
And instead of interning at P.S.1(MoMA), i am looking into the Museum of the City of New York(more history through art oriented). So while im being ambitious about my future.. im being so useless now. I have a huge HUUGE history paper and i need a thesis for thursday, and i'm like planning this incredible endeavor about the Civ. Rights Movement, im excited but im void of conviction. I've talked to my teacher, I bugged my T.A., i even emailed my old Professor from the summer program (McMillian) asking for advice.. and i know i'll end up copping out big time. suuuuuuuuuucks. i wish i was smarter and i wish i actually knew how to find a book in our insane library.
This weekend sucked: the weather sucked, my boyfriend was overextended, duo-la was gone, crazy drunk shabbat-observing jews slept in my bed and wreaked havoc, im a slave to day-light savings, i didn't go outside and didn't do work... Sundays should be entirely devoted to sulking.
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| in this city/ self-preservation is a full time occupation |
[31 Mar 2005|10:30am] |
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ani difranco- talk to me now |
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Easter was sad because i got no peeps. nuff said about that, but i found an icon for my mourning.
It's amazing how the weather helps things right? Suddenly everyone has energy(even after many days of marginal sleep), everyone is friendlier and more optimistic.. and i'm sure when it rains this weekend everyone will have their emo hoodies and blah attitudes again. *shrug* I should have left the east coast maybe... but i don't think i belong anywhere else.
Everyone is talking about how excited they are that the school year is almost over... i don't get it. Everything went SO FAST. And while i don't know if college will hands down be the best 4 years of my life, it is WAY better than being in the eventual real world and paying bills and having mortgages and a 9 to 5 or a (god forbid) cubicle. I'm way less stressed this semester cuz i LIKE my classes A LOT, i'm doing well, i have NO desire for the summer. It seems like no one is going to be back home, my boyfriend will be literally across the planet, and I'm going to be bored out of my mind with my dad in queens doing god knows what(watch my internship at P.S.1 fall through).
I'm excited about next year. I know what to anticipate, i'll regroup and hopefully have more money from working and i'll get everything right. Interesting how im supposed to be an Art History major and im taking all History classes.
If i went to school in the middle of nowhere, i wouldn't feel constant guilt for not doing things. But when im studying i feel bad for not being at a gallery or having a picnic in central park; when i pass out in my bed i wonder how many bars and clubs i'm not at; and when i do take advantage of the city i think i should be working or sleeping. possibilities are paralyzing. i wish this freaking city would slow down a little to accomodate little oblivious me.
"i played the powerless
in too many dark scenes
and i was blessed with a birth and a death
and i guess i just want some say in between"
I wish i had a calling, a talent, an expressable passion. My passions are things that i have to take in(knowledge), it's internal and unoriginal, but i wish i had passion that came from me alone. Jackie showed me her drawings and god i wish that stuff would just flow out of me.. people that have talent shouldn't be afraid of it because I AM JEALOUS.
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[16 Mar 2005|06:33pm] |
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Soo...
Thanks for people that tried to be nice/helpful in my last entry. I feel bad that i was being so... pitiful or whatever. I should be more clear and more honest. I wrote that stuff like it was centered around my relationship, but it's really not. As proll everyone proll picked up but me, all that crap that was swirling around in my head is my own shit. It's stuff i felt when i was with andrew, when i was single, and how i'll probably always feel unless i do something about it myself. It's not a sign of my relationship being weak, or dennis being anthing lacking.. it's my own stuff getting to me.
WHat you can tell yourself can seem so freaking real..and being away from dennis gave me tooo much time to be crazy. Now im at Cornell and i feel loved and pretty and stupid for acting like i was anything less in his eyes. I need to find some way to bottle reality. And Dennis' computer wallpaper is Kate Hudson.. pale and curly blonde hair.. i swear ive never been so happy to see a half-naked woman on my boyfriends computer EVER!!
kk i am just killing time until dennis gets back from a meeting.. watching asian dramas on his computer. The only time i've gotten out of bed today really is to go get food... definitely my kind of day. I really really like being here, tres different from my beloved big bad city, but it has all the necessities of life: food, sex, sleep, & love = yay.
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| *rant* |
[14 Mar 2005|02:40pm] |
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blah
*sigh*
I swear i'm driving myself crazy.. I can take a mini-step back and realize what a psychotic nervous person i can be.
I hate being on Long Island without anyone else here, no license, just having to sit on my ass basically and think. It's the most dangerous thing u can let me do.
I know no one likes hearing about my relationship, but whatever fuck it then just don't read it. I feel like everything is slipping away, i feel like the mess, the crazy girlfriend, all that bullshit i don't ever want to be.
Back in Melville, okay maybe i've never been a 'strong' person, but i felt like Dennis needed me, like i had a purpose or like we were on the same level at least. Now i just feel like a complete joke. He doesn't have even one second of time for me, even though that's not his fault, i always feel like i'm bothering him or i'm boring. I miss him SO much. It feels like all i do all day is cry.. i keep myself busy or i'll do something fun or hang out with someone, but my days lately seem punctuated by hard-core self-inflicted crying. Me left alone = disaster. I need something.. but i feel like asking him for more will just push him farther away.
And then i remember today that he'll be in Taiwan this summer, while i'll be working or interning or something on L.I. So a dozen hour time difference, dozens of asian girls, and about a dozen weeks apart... great. And here's a newsflash: Im not asian. lol that should be something that i don't even have to make an effort to accept, right? WRONG! And there are a thousand different kinds of being beautiful, for every raceðnicity.. so why do i feel like i have to be something i'm not? I was in the fitting room in the Gap yesterday and i hear all these women talking to my mom about how beautiful i am and my hair and my body and blah blah blah and i just felt SO not okay. It's just not what i want and im an ungrateful shallow bitch. I should be slapped for being all: *weep* I'm blue-eyed and blonde and tall and have big boobs *WEEP* But the sad thing is it's not a joke, i am fucking sitting here weeping. And no matter how good he can try to make me feel, i always wonder what he's thinking, if i'm really what he wants, if he's lying to me.
I don't get it. I want him to feel scared. I want him to need me. Not really, but this just seems way too one-sided. I want to feel safe. And if i can just shut up for 36hrs i'll be at Cornell and i will be safe, but that is a long long time right now. I just don't know how to make this go away.
blah.
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| WTF?? |
[13 Mar 2005|01:18am] |
i dont feel like updating.. im cranky and im home and i have a killer headache.
but here is why the world is fucked UP:
according to some infomercial i just saw on TV, Charlton Heston is the narrator for a book on tape of the Bible!!!
Has anyone seen Bowling for Columbine??
So ignorant N.R.A. Satan = Word of God.
blah.
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| But I know you just don't care.. |
[01 Mar 2005|12:41pm] |
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breakfast at tiffanys |
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*waves*
I have good luck:
I had a paper due on monday, i was up all night, didnt finish, then slept through the class. Later found out it was canceled, and we just had to put it in her mailbox that afternoon. Do i do it? No. I finish it to bring to class today with some BS excuse, and she's STILL not there. I take the paper to put in her mailbox, and all the other papers are still there.. she hasn't been in yet. my definition of 'on time'. yay!!
I have bad luck:
everything else.
List:
So, i have 4 midterms next week
Jennie is coming right before 3 of them
I am a bad friend cuz im going to make her make flashcards for me.
I can't figure out the tunnel system at my school and keep getting lost = i suck
I will be very fat when im old cuz i drink like ten million cups of nondecaf tea a day
Why doesn't college have snow days? (besides your school ari- fuck u!!)
I cry a lot a lot and drive my boyfriend crazy
Then 5mins later i laugh and drive him more crazy
I've been cleaning my room everyday! sorta!
Gabe called me when he was actually sober- i felt loved!
Blah, i hate being sober.
Am i the only one that thought The Gates were pretty?
Everything is going waywayway too fast except work
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[15 Feb 2005|03:03am] |
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elliot smith |
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Okay, so this is what one does at 3AM when one has a paper to write:
*THE CANDY MACHINE SAGA*
So i go down to the candy machine to buy skittles for 60 cents, the machine gives me my change back with the bag(aka FREE SKITTLES). But of course i have to wonder if it'll work again, so i buy another bag. it doesn't. So i give one bag to Kate and have the other, i broke even basically. supposedly i am satisfied with my good fortune.
-like maybe half an hour later-
So i want more skittles lol and return to the machine. Right next to the skittles slot is the Luna Bar slot(dollar fifty a pop! goodness!!).. and there is a luna bar like SO about to fall out of the slot. Im too cheap to pay 1.50, even if it'll get me 2 of them, so i just say fuck it and buy the skittles. As the skittles dispense, they graze the luna bar, and its like hanging by a fucking thread. I try to tip the machine('strong barnard woman' yeah right!), i do the whole try to kick the machine and squeal cuz it hurt your toe thing. I've never even had a Luna bar but i decide it would be exciting to try to get the bar out as cheaply as possible. So i go back upstairs and get a bunch of change, having the brilliant idea that if i buy another bag of skittles it'll knock the bar down. I try this once, doesn't work. I try it again. And again. So, in total, i have spent:
$3.00 on
6 bags of skittles
0 Luna Bars
And this was like a fucking adventure to me faced with the awful boring paper im getting through now.
and the fact that i just recounted that shows how gone i am.
news about my perfect weekend and my otherwise good life to come after crap paper is done.
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| Memories.. |
[09 Feb 2005|04:27pm] |
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okay |
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music |
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bright eyes- Lila |
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So my new (very contradictory life) will consist of:
a) not being lame(aka being more of a New Yorker.. this goal is actually going fairly well)
b) watching Dawsons Creek on TBS between my 9 and 11 classes everyday
I saw the VERY first episode, first season this morning in the lounge eating my oatmeal. It was the most nostalgic thing ever..and the fact that i remembered every second of it. So now i see why everyone that wasn't 11 like me at the time was trashing it- watching Dawson Leary, a TENTH GRADER supposedly, say things like "gratuitous self-examination" and "I'm truly sorry for being an insensitive male" were ridiculous. But god, at the time, i looked up to those people so much.. i anticipated that life. Luckily i way prefer mine, even though i suck at school and i don't know where/with whom im living with next year, and everything is up in the air and i'm a complete stress-case and, yeah.
And now in college i schedule my Thursdays around a show about high school juniors, The O.C. go figure.
This week was so relentless and blah!!!!!! I need to have the most mellow next few days..which i will cuz i'll be outta the big bad city @ Cornell. I don't think Cornell would be the place for me, but it's definitely a really nice change of scenery. Tomorrow *gasp* is our TWO YEAR anniversary *GASP!!!* It's awesome but i literally cannot believe it's been that long.. i remember a trillion little moments like they were minutes ago. But yah i'll be getting there just in time before midnight and we'll have "im a broke-ass college student" gifts and loveiness and all is good. Or it could be a lot lot worse.
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[06 Feb 2005|01:23pm] |
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I figured i should say hi cuz i havn't updated in about a month.....
hi!!!!!
i'm still here, im still good.. or better even than last semester. I've been breathing a lil more, maybe drinking a lil more lol, and definitely slacking more. I love the city but in a few days i'll be loving cornell even more. My classes are really interesting and nice, which MAYBE compensates for the fact that they start every day at 9AM and taper off some days at 7 or 8PM. I take naps every afternoon. Last night I wore pointy shoes and hobbled down to SoHo with Amanda and Duo-la and had the yummiest tea and vegan food ever for Amanda's birthday. Then we watch tragic foreign movies and talk about how sex deprived we are. Such is life. I feel much more cozy here on Broadway :)
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| *WAVES* |
[07 Jan 2005|07:25pm] |
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TV |
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Reply to this post with a memory of me. (pretty pretty please?)
It can be anything you want, just so long as it happened.
Then post this in your journal.
See what people remember about you.
..Okay, there is my self-centered update! I hope everyone is doing well. Basically i miss everyone; i miss 99% of my home friends that are no longer here, my boyfriend that is 6hrs away, and my school friends that are scattered. umm... i am so lazy and happy yay!
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| Some Highlights |
[08 Dec 2004|01:30am] |
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postal service: such great heights |
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You Know You Go To Barnard If (highlights, applicable to me or others i know):
# You spend more money on cigarettes than on books
# You masturbate more often than anything
# You give up your search for the perfect man in exchange for ANY man
# You had a better sex life in 8th grade
# You feel left out if you don't have an eating disorder (or you HAVE a boyfriend)
# You actually consider going to the West End
# You have to whisper to say "republican"
# The only guys you see wear Yamahas and can't touch girls<--THIS IS SO TRUE
# You feel dumb if you're only fluent in two languages
# Even Spanish 101 has a feminist slant
# You know more people named "Sonal" than "Jen"
# Your entire floor is on the same menstrual cycle
# You go out for coffee with a girl from your class and wonder whether it's a date or not
# You dress up to go to the library (and it works :-P)
# You met your boyfriend on the internet and he lives across the street
# Deciding which shoes to wear to the coed dining hall becomes a monumental affair
# The only men you speak to are related to you
# You can't decide which is more important, your college ID or your fake ID
# You run into friends at the library on a Friday night
# The last movies you saw were Say Anything and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
# You've never read the Bulletin
# The sole basis of your friendship with Columbia students is that they're male (or know people who are male)
# The girls across the street give you dirty looks ('cause they know you're prettier)
# Your furthest class is less than a block away
# Sitting on Lowe steps becomes an event
# Everyone assumes you were rejected from Columbia
As Im reading these things, there is a faint male voice outside and my roommate perks up "there is a guy in the hall!!!" And she moves to get up and look out the door, but then we both start laughing at how sad but true these things are. The guy desperation is a lil exaggerated, at least for me, cuz i only have to be sexually frustrated for 3 or so weeks a month. But yeah..
back to THE paper..
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weetziebat2's journal